We hosted a Blood Drive at work yesterday. I had never given blood before, but know how important it is for groups like the Michigan Community Blood Center and American Red Cross to have adequate blood supplies. I like the thought of spending 30-40 minutes doing something so simple yet it can go a long way in helping to save someone's life.
I signed up to donate at 4:00pm. I entered the Blood Mobile right on time and was immediately given a donor form and a pen. That was followed by another form with 17 questions regarding where I've been and what I've done over the past few years. I was instructed to answer these questions by coloring the dot, completely, next to my answers. Answer the first 17, but do not proceed further until instructed to do so I was told. "Wow", I thought. This is a very strict operation. I guess that's good given the fact blood it a pretty important part of daily life. These questions didn't require much thought and I breezed through the majority of them. I did have to slow down, however, when getting to the consecutive questions regarding pregnancy. Not because I didn't know the answers, but rather, I spent a considerable amount of time wondering if the questions really had to be worded this way, and if so, why? Who in the past has screwed these up?The first question asked "Have you been pregnant in the past 8 weeks?". In parenthesis next to the question were the words "Men answer No". Then, the next question said "Have you ever been pregnant?" and again "Men answer No." Are you kidding me? Did some guy really mark one, or both, of those questions yes? Let me guess. It's one of those guys who, when his wife gets pregnant, runs around telling everyone "WE'RE pregnant!!". The same guy who will stay at home when his wife hosts a Lia Sophia party "just to see what's new." If you're a male, and you answer yes to one or both of those questions, you should be kicked out of the Blood Mobile on grounds of pure stupidity. If not, your blood could go to a perfectly intelligent person.
After completing the first 17 questions I was told to take my clipboard and questionaire and wait in "the room". This room is one of two in the back of the Blood Mobile where they check your blood type, take your temperature, check your blood pressure, and help you complete the last 8 questions that you are off limits from answering until entering "the room" and being instructed to proceed. This room is roughly the size of the old phone booths and I took up most of the space on my own. I didn't see how another person was going to fit in there with me.I sat alone in the room, just me and my thoughts, for roughly 10 minutes or so. Looking around the room I noticed a laminated card hanging on the wall. This card had the remaining 8 questions listed just as they were on my sheet. The card indicated these questions were related to HIV and sexual history. I wondered why I couldn't just answer those with the other 17, but figured there was some good reason and I'd be finding that out shortly. I knew I had at least one question of my own and couldn't stop thinking about how some guy marked that he had been pregnant.
I glanced onto the main floor and watched other donors in action. Not really in action, I guess, as there's not much to do except lay there and wait. Nobody looked uncomfortable or in any type of pain so I wasn't nervous about my first time donating. My thought of "how could that idiot say he had been pregnant?" was broken by a pleasant "hello" from a woman named Mary. She entered "the room" and said down next to me explaining she would be checking my blood and helping me complete my questionaire. She stuck my finger, collected a small blood sample, and while waiting for the readout she checked my temperature and blood pressure. Upon completion she slid my questionaire in front of her and quickly scanned my answers. There was one question related to recent exposure to a contagious disease, in which I had answered yes, and Mary wanted to know the scoop. I told her my wife had recently been diagnosed with Swine Flu. With that, Mary reached down under the small table and consulted a manual to determine what to do next. I was surprised she didn't immediately know what to do as the Swine Flu is relatively serious and not really all that knew to the area. Whatever she read in the manual didn't convince her it was okay for me to proceed so she called a woman named Patty into the room.Keep in mind, as I mentioned before, this room is really only big enough for me. With me and Mary in the room it is very tight quarters. Now, for confidentiality reasons, Patty is going to join us and close the door behind her. If you've ever been in an elevator packed with people you know well the uncomfortable silence that makes a 15 second ride feel like forever. Shrink that elevator space down to the size of a phone booth, put a guy who's 6 feet tall and a million pounds in it, and add a couple of women who are complete strangers....that, my friends, creates the epitome of uncomfortable silence.
Mary informed Patty I had been exposed to the Swine Flu. Patty immediately backed into the door and opened it as if Mary had said I had Bubonic Plague. Getting over her initial shock Patty came back into the room and again closed the door behind her. Patty asked me if my wife and I had shared a sandwich. In a nervous moment, gut reaction, I said "Ever?". Patty looked at me like she was thinking I had probably marked "yes" to the pregnancy question. She explained that she meant to ask if we had shared a sandwich while my wife had the Swine Flu. I'm not exactly sure why anyone would do that, but I just confirmed to her that we had not shared any food or drink since she was diagnosed. Following a brief conversation it was decided those that were exposed to Swine Flu were treated the same as those exposed to the "regular" flu and that meant I could proceed with donating, but I had to call them immediately if I developed symptoms.
Mary informed me she would be helping me with the final 8 questions and she removed the laminated card from the wall. She told me she would be reading the questions and then I was to mark my yes or no answer on the sheet. Mary began reading the questions quickly and I was having a tough time keeping up because I'm very anal and each dot had to be completely filled in before I could move on to the next question. Unfortunately, along with being anal, I neglected to buy Evelyn Wood's speed reading course when I had the chance and I was falling further and further behind as Mary blew threw the questions. As you can imagine, questions intended to determine your risk of having the HIV virus are quite personal. Although my answer to each one was a resounding NO...as indicated by the dark black, completely filled in, ink breaking through the bottom of the paper mark next to each of the eight questions it was very uncomfortable to have a complete stranger ask these questions of you out loud. I marked my last answer, well after Mary had read the questions, and I posed a couple of questions of my own. The first was, "Mary, why did you have to read those questions to me? They're right here on the paper and I could just read them myself and mark the answers." Mary said it's their policy because those questions, depending on how they are answered, could require more in depth conversation. As if this whole process doesn't present enough uncomfortable situations. My second question was "Mary, did some guy really answer yes to the pregnancy question?" Mary informed me there had been more than one. Unbelievable.
Questions completed, uncomfortable silence now a thing of the past, I was led to a bed and given a small bottle of water. Now Kathy was rolling up the sleeve on my left arm and looking to find a good vein. She was rubbing, tapping, and sighing with frustration as no good vein could be found. After a few minutes she decided it was best to try my right arm instead. Finding a "great vein" she wiped a couple of different liquids on my arm, rigged the collection bag and clamp, and proceeded to stick me. I thought I was underway, but it soon became apparent that although I had a needle stuck in my arm no blood was flowing into the collection bag. Kathy apologized several times and said we needed to switch back to the original bed and try the left arm. Kathy applied the rubber strap tourniquet, started rubbing and tapping again, and oohed and ahhed at the vein she had found. She called Mary over to see what she thought. At this point, I have two women whom I've never met, rubbing my arm and oohing and ahhing at a vein they've found. My assumption that all uncomfortable moments were behind me was now proven false. I could feel my face turning red and began to wonder why I signed up for this in the first place.
Finally, Kathy was successful in getting the needle into the perfect position and blood flow was underway. She would stop by every couple of minutes to see how I was doing and each time she'd apologize for having to stick both arms. She knew I was a "first timer" and felt bad that it had gone the way it did. After 10 or 15 minutes Kathy informed me I was almost done. She told me that I could donate again in 8 weeks if I wanted to. I wondered if regular donors still had to answer all of the questions. The actual process of donating blood is a piece of cake, but I'm not that excited about being in that tight space again with complete strangers asking me very personal questions.
After being un-clamped, needle removed, and band aid applied I was told to move to the front of the Blood Mobile for a glass of juice and some cookies. I sat down and opened the bottle of water I was given earlier. Mary came to the front and threw me a t-shirt. "Here." She said. "We want you to have this for being such a good sport your first time." I thanked her and asked if I was okay to leave. She asked me how I felt. I knew she was asking if I physically felt fine after donating a pint of blood, but I wanted to be honest. I wanted to tell her that yes, physically I felt fine. Mentally, not so much. I'll probably have nightmares about becoming pregnant. Or, I'll have recurring dreams about sharing lunch with my wife and developing Bubonic Plague.
I exited the Blood Mobile thinking about how bizarre some of that experience was. At the same time, I felt good about what I had done. Hopefully, my donation makes a difference in someone's life down the road. If so, the uncomfortable silence will speak volumes.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Pay To Play: Cuts Costs or Cuts Enthusiasm?
The following is a column that was published in the Daily Mining Gazette (Houghton, MI) regarding schools instituting pay to play programs to cut expenses.
Midland Public Schools are grappling with higher education costs, declining enrollment and a budget deficit for 2008-09. They are now contemplating a pay-to-play fee of $50 per athlete charged for each sport they participate in. Troy Public Schools is facing an $8 million deficit. The school board figures by closing their middle school pools, providing transportation to sporting events (parents would pick students up from these events) and instituting pay-to-play for their athletes, the school district will save $3.73 million during the next fiscal year.
The pay-to-play program is not a new concept. According to Scott Smith, an associate professor of sports management at Central Michigan University, it began in the 1970s and spread quickly in the 1980s and '90s as school fiscal budgets began to tighten. A USA Today poll surveyed state high school sports associations and found that in at least 34 states, there were districts charging athletes to participate in athletics at the school. The survey also found that 16 states still did not have schools that charged this fee.
In 1993, 1 in 10 Michigan school districts imposed fees for extracurricular activities. By 2007, this figure had risen to over 55 percent. In 2007, 88,000 students in southeast Michigan participated in pay-to-play extracurricular activities, generating revenue of over $10 million for their schools. Fees can be a flat annual fee per student, such as Clarkston schools $200/year rate to as much as $700/year at Northview High School in North Fulton County Georgia. It can also be levied by individual activity: $160 to play football at Romeo High School, $750 to play hockey for Royal Oak High School or $700 to be in the band at Vista Murrieta High School in California. These fees cover expenses such as team camp fees, equipment, pre-game meals, team uniforms and apparel, travel costs, event costs such as referees and timers and end of the year banquets.
Penalizing students whose family does not have the financial ability to pay for these sports has been a concern with the fee-for-participating concept. A study done by Diane Hoff, associate professor of education at University of Maine, found that there was a 35 percent dropoff in participation in athletics when pay-to-play policies were instituted. Further research found that this dropoff occurred when fees rose above $300 annually. Typical fees range between $75 and $100 annually.
Administrators and communities are grappling with ways to balance the benefits from athletics with the rising curriculum demands. Local author Chris Givens' book titled "More Than The Score" illustrates the life lessons learned through sports. His athletic experiences produced meaningful personal reflections such as: be willing to make sacrifices to achieve your goals, take responsibility for your actions, give respect and earn respect, along with many other insightful observations. "More Than The Score" illustrates how the cost of sports cannot be measured in dollars and cents. The lifelong lessons learned in the preparation, participation, and addressing the outcomes of competition are ones whose impact on future achievement are shared in magnitude with the successes garnered in the classroom.
Editor's note: Steve Patchin is Director of Youth Programs Outreach and Engagement at Michigan Technological University.
Midland Public Schools are grappling with higher education costs, declining enrollment and a budget deficit for 2008-09. They are now contemplating a pay-to-play fee of $50 per athlete charged for each sport they participate in. Troy Public Schools is facing an $8 million deficit. The school board figures by closing their middle school pools, providing transportation to sporting events (parents would pick students up from these events) and instituting pay-to-play for their athletes, the school district will save $3.73 million during the next fiscal year.
The pay-to-play program is not a new concept. According to Scott Smith, an associate professor of sports management at Central Michigan University, it began in the 1970s and spread quickly in the 1980s and '90s as school fiscal budgets began to tighten. A USA Today poll surveyed state high school sports associations and found that in at least 34 states, there were districts charging athletes to participate in athletics at the school. The survey also found that 16 states still did not have schools that charged this fee.
In 1993, 1 in 10 Michigan school districts imposed fees for extracurricular activities. By 2007, this figure had risen to over 55 percent. In 2007, 88,000 students in southeast Michigan participated in pay-to-play extracurricular activities, generating revenue of over $10 million for their schools. Fees can be a flat annual fee per student, such as Clarkston schools $200/year rate to as much as $700/year at Northview High School in North Fulton County Georgia. It can also be levied by individual activity: $160 to play football at Romeo High School, $750 to play hockey for Royal Oak High School or $700 to be in the band at Vista Murrieta High School in California. These fees cover expenses such as team camp fees, equipment, pre-game meals, team uniforms and apparel, travel costs, event costs such as referees and timers and end of the year banquets.
Penalizing students whose family does not have the financial ability to pay for these sports has been a concern with the fee-for-participating concept. A study done by Diane Hoff, associate professor of education at University of Maine, found that there was a 35 percent dropoff in participation in athletics when pay-to-play policies were instituted. Further research found that this dropoff occurred when fees rose above $300 annually. Typical fees range between $75 and $100 annually.
Administrators and communities are grappling with ways to balance the benefits from athletics with the rising curriculum demands. Local author Chris Givens' book titled "More Than The Score" illustrates the life lessons learned through sports. His athletic experiences produced meaningful personal reflections such as: be willing to make sacrifices to achieve your goals, take responsibility for your actions, give respect and earn respect, along with many other insightful observations. "More Than The Score" illustrates how the cost of sports cannot be measured in dollars and cents. The lifelong lessons learned in the preparation, participation, and addressing the outcomes of competition are ones whose impact on future achievement are shared in magnitude with the successes garnered in the classroom.
Editor's note: Steve Patchin is Director of Youth Programs Outreach and Engagement at Michigan Technological University.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
You're More Than Welcome
That's the new slogan for Hyatt Hotels. It's all built on their great service and how, after your stay with Hyatt, you'll leave saying "there is a difference between a hotel and a Hyatt." I haven't stayed with Hyatt for over a year, but will do so this weekend as part of the MIHL High School Hockey Showcase in Trenton, MI. We'll be staying at the Hyatt Regency - Dearborn as they are the host hotel. So far, just within the reservation process, there is definately a difference between a hotel (pick one) and this Hyatt. I'm not sure the corporate mucky mucks would be happy though.
The initial call to the hotel was to reserve a block of 13 rooms for Thursday and Friday nights. Unfortunately, we were told, the hotel cannot block that many rooms under one reservation. Instead, we could block 3 rooms under a single name so using the names of 5 different people......you've got your reservation. Okay, that could work, but why does it have to be that difficult? We've spent nights in hotels all over the state and nobody has said they couldn't block 13 rooms under a team block. Typically, you email a rooming list to the hotel, show up with your check or credit card and the school's tax exempt form, the keys are ready, and you're check in is complete.
I contacted the hotel to inquire why the 13 room block could not be accomodated. The answer I was given was that it could not be handled that way through the corporate reservations system, but could be done if working through the hotel directly. I asked if I could send a rooming list for the 13 rooms, have confirmation numbers returned, and then exchange form of payment for room keys at check in and be on our way. I was told that could absolutely happen and that all I needed to do was send the rooming list directly to the Group Reservations Manager and she would make sure it was taken care of. She would also handle cancelling the original reservation placed through the corporate system.
Our rooming list was emailed to the GRM with a note asking for confirmation numbers. Later in the day I received a return email with our confirmation numbers......along with confirmation numbers for the other 200 people checking in on the same day. I couldn't help but wonder what the thought process was before sending that email. It was 8 full pages so it obviously took some effort to put together.
Hyatt: "Let's see, the coach wants confirmation numbers for each of his 13 rooms. I'm going to go ahead and send that to him. You know, why don't I also send him confirmation numbers for the other 200 people checking in at the same time. That's very interesting information and I'm sure he will appreciate receiving it."
Me: "Yes, thank you very much for sending me the information I requested along with the information I have absolutely no use for. It is quite interesting, however, and I plan to peruse it after taking a gander at the video of my Aunt Gert's colonoscopy."
Aren't they violating some type of privacy laws within the hotel industry? I wonder if Mrs. Hockey from Peoria would be interested in knowing our rooms were $20 per night cheaper than hers even though she's coming in for the same event and all rooms are supposed to be the same price. Hey, I've got her phone number now so maybe I should call her and let her know she can get her room for cheaper. I can give her the confirmation number to be used with her reservation along with the room type....I can make it very easy for her to communicate with the hotel. It seems as though they could use the help.
I can hear the response already. Just go stay somewhere else if it's such a big problem. That's true and I would do that, but if you don't stay at the host hotel they charge your team a $550 fee. The Showcase is a prestigious event and we are honored to be included. It would be nice, however, if the partner hotel would handle their business in a manner that reflected better on the event.
Last week, our team reservations coordinator received several emails from the Hyatt stating they were "seven days to arrival" notices. These notices were tied to five names, each name with three rooms under the reservation. What happened to our 13 room block? Several long phone calls later we had everything straightened out...again.
Yesterday, our reservations coordinator received a new set of confirmation emails. Again, five names with three rooms per name and now the check out date was changed from Saturday to Sunday. We're leaving for home after our game on Saturday so we won't be checking out on Sunday. But again, what happened to our 13 room block? Needless to say we are expecting quite the check in fiasco upon our arrival at the Dearborn Hyatt tomorrow afternoon.
Maybe someone within the Hyatt Corporate family will read this entry. To them I say, "You're More Than Welcome."
The initial call to the hotel was to reserve a block of 13 rooms for Thursday and Friday nights. Unfortunately, we were told, the hotel cannot block that many rooms under one reservation. Instead, we could block 3 rooms under a single name so using the names of 5 different people......you've got your reservation. Okay, that could work, but why does it have to be that difficult? We've spent nights in hotels all over the state and nobody has said they couldn't block 13 rooms under a team block. Typically, you email a rooming list to the hotel, show up with your check or credit card and the school's tax exempt form, the keys are ready, and you're check in is complete.
I contacted the hotel to inquire why the 13 room block could not be accomodated. The answer I was given was that it could not be handled that way through the corporate reservations system, but could be done if working through the hotel directly. I asked if I could send a rooming list for the 13 rooms, have confirmation numbers returned, and then exchange form of payment for room keys at check in and be on our way. I was told that could absolutely happen and that all I needed to do was send the rooming list directly to the Group Reservations Manager and she would make sure it was taken care of. She would also handle cancelling the original reservation placed through the corporate system.
Our rooming list was emailed to the GRM with a note asking for confirmation numbers. Later in the day I received a return email with our confirmation numbers......along with confirmation numbers for the other 200 people checking in on the same day. I couldn't help but wonder what the thought process was before sending that email. It was 8 full pages so it obviously took some effort to put together.
Hyatt: "Let's see, the coach wants confirmation numbers for each of his 13 rooms. I'm going to go ahead and send that to him. You know, why don't I also send him confirmation numbers for the other 200 people checking in at the same time. That's very interesting information and I'm sure he will appreciate receiving it."
Me: "Yes, thank you very much for sending me the information I requested along with the information I have absolutely no use for. It is quite interesting, however, and I plan to peruse it after taking a gander at the video of my Aunt Gert's colonoscopy."
Aren't they violating some type of privacy laws within the hotel industry? I wonder if Mrs. Hockey from Peoria would be interested in knowing our rooms were $20 per night cheaper than hers even though she's coming in for the same event and all rooms are supposed to be the same price. Hey, I've got her phone number now so maybe I should call her and let her know she can get her room for cheaper. I can give her the confirmation number to be used with her reservation along with the room type....I can make it very easy for her to communicate with the hotel. It seems as though they could use the help.
I can hear the response already. Just go stay somewhere else if it's such a big problem. That's true and I would do that, but if you don't stay at the host hotel they charge your team a $550 fee. The Showcase is a prestigious event and we are honored to be included. It would be nice, however, if the partner hotel would handle their business in a manner that reflected better on the event.
Last week, our team reservations coordinator received several emails from the Hyatt stating they were "seven days to arrival" notices. These notices were tied to five names, each name with three rooms under the reservation. What happened to our 13 room block? Several long phone calls later we had everything straightened out...again.
Yesterday, our reservations coordinator received a new set of confirmation emails. Again, five names with three rooms per name and now the check out date was changed from Saturday to Sunday. We're leaving for home after our game on Saturday so we won't be checking out on Sunday. But again, what happened to our 13 room block? Needless to say we are expecting quite the check in fiasco upon our arrival at the Dearborn Hyatt tomorrow afternoon.
Maybe someone within the Hyatt Corporate family will read this entry. To them I say, "You're More Than Welcome."
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Saving The Best For Last
Yesterday was the first day of the 2009 Special Olympics Michigan State Winter Games held here in Traverse City. Two of the events, figure skating and speed skating, are held at Howe Arena. With the figure skating competition set to begin at 8:00am several of the participants began to filter in to Howe Arena just as we (Traverse City Central High School) were finishing our hockey practice at 7:15am. By the time all of my guys had showered, changed, and seated themselves for breakfast in the Howe Arena lobby, the ice had been taken over by figure skaters.
I locked our lockerroom and weaved my way through skaters waiting to take the ice. Passing through a group of young ladies waiting to enter the ice surface from the visitor's bench I made eye contact with one of them. She smiled at me and asked, "Are you a hockey player?"
"No," I said. "I'm just a coach."
"For what team?" she asked.
"Traverse City Central High School," I answered.
"Is your team good?" she said, still smiling.
"Yeah, I think we're pretty good," I said.
"Better than the Red Wings?" she asked.
"Well, we're not THAT good. But I'd say we're pretty good." I answered.
"That's awesome!!" she yelled and offered a high five.
I high fived her and made my way to the lobby.
My boys were in the middle of breakfast so I stood down the hallway a little way and watched the figure skaters warming up on the ice. I noticed there was a huge variance in the level of skating ability from one skater to the next. It was obvious some had been skating for a long time while others appeared to be very new to the sport. The one thing they all had in common was they skated with confidence and sheer determination. If they weren't practicing their routines they were skating, smiling, and sharing laughs with fellow competitors. The look of determination during their practice routines said they really wanted to win, but you also knew it wasn't the most important thing to them. Every time someone would stumble and fall there was immediately a fellow competitor by their side to make sure they were okay and to help them up. I had read an article about these games in the local paper and remembered someone being quoting as saying, "these athletes are accepted and celebrated regardless of race, gender, or ability." After observing these athletes for a few minutes I knew this to be true.
I was just about to leave Howe Arena when a young woman approached and dropped a duffel bag on the floor next to me. She looked at me, smiled, and began to take items out of the bag. Her skates, gloves, and a sweat shirt. She put the skates on her feet and called for her dad. A gentleman approached from near the front doors and proceeded to tie her skates. "Good luck," he said and winked at his daughter. She stood up and walked through the front doors to the visitor's bench and stepped out onto the ice. A very slow first step, then a second small stride, and then a third. Obvious now was the fact that she hadn't been skating very long. I kept thinking about how hard it must be to try to perform a figure skating routine when it appeared she had all she could handle just to keep her balance. I said to myself, "Wow. I give her a lot of credit for being able to go out and try that."
Her dad was still standing next to me and watched his daughter take to the ice just as I had. He was smiling as he watched her take those slow, calculated strides. He saw me looking at him and he nodded toward his daughter.
"She's always the happiest when she's on the ice," he said.
I looked back toward his daughter and she was making her way across the ice and toward the visitor's bench with a wide smile.
"She sure does look happy," I said.
We watched her step off the ice and make her way back toward the lobby. She stopped briefly to talk to the person in charge of the event, then came back through the main doors and down the hallway to where we were standing. She sat down next to her duffel bag and looked up at her dad.
"They said I won't be skating for awhile yet, but they'll let me know when it's my turn. I guess they must be saving the best for last," she said quite matter of factly.
Confidence and determination. If we could all approach daily life with the confidence and determination of these young men and women imagine what would get accomplished.......
I locked our lockerroom and weaved my way through skaters waiting to take the ice. Passing through a group of young ladies waiting to enter the ice surface from the visitor's bench I made eye contact with one of them. She smiled at me and asked, "Are you a hockey player?"
"No," I said. "I'm just a coach."
"For what team?" she asked.
"Traverse City Central High School," I answered.
"Is your team good?" she said, still smiling.
"Yeah, I think we're pretty good," I said.
"Better than the Red Wings?" she asked.
"Well, we're not THAT good. But I'd say we're pretty good." I answered.
"That's awesome!!" she yelled and offered a high five.
I high fived her and made my way to the lobby.
My boys were in the middle of breakfast so I stood down the hallway a little way and watched the figure skaters warming up on the ice. I noticed there was a huge variance in the level of skating ability from one skater to the next. It was obvious some had been skating for a long time while others appeared to be very new to the sport. The one thing they all had in common was they skated with confidence and sheer determination. If they weren't practicing their routines they were skating, smiling, and sharing laughs with fellow competitors. The look of determination during their practice routines said they really wanted to win, but you also knew it wasn't the most important thing to them. Every time someone would stumble and fall there was immediately a fellow competitor by their side to make sure they were okay and to help them up. I had read an article about these games in the local paper and remembered someone being quoting as saying, "these athletes are accepted and celebrated regardless of race, gender, or ability." After observing these athletes for a few minutes I knew this to be true.
I was just about to leave Howe Arena when a young woman approached and dropped a duffel bag on the floor next to me. She looked at me, smiled, and began to take items out of the bag. Her skates, gloves, and a sweat shirt. She put the skates on her feet and called for her dad. A gentleman approached from near the front doors and proceeded to tie her skates. "Good luck," he said and winked at his daughter. She stood up and walked through the front doors to the visitor's bench and stepped out onto the ice. A very slow first step, then a second small stride, and then a third. Obvious now was the fact that she hadn't been skating very long. I kept thinking about how hard it must be to try to perform a figure skating routine when it appeared she had all she could handle just to keep her balance. I said to myself, "Wow. I give her a lot of credit for being able to go out and try that."
Her dad was still standing next to me and watched his daughter take to the ice just as I had. He was smiling as he watched her take those slow, calculated strides. He saw me looking at him and he nodded toward his daughter.
"She's always the happiest when she's on the ice," he said.
I looked back toward his daughter and she was making her way across the ice and toward the visitor's bench with a wide smile.
"She sure does look happy," I said.
We watched her step off the ice and make her way back toward the lobby. She stopped briefly to talk to the person in charge of the event, then came back through the main doors and down the hallway to where we were standing. She sat down next to her duffel bag and looked up at her dad.
"They said I won't be skating for awhile yet, but they'll let me know when it's my turn. I guess they must be saving the best for last," she said quite matter of factly.
Confidence and determination. If we could all approach daily life with the confidence and determination of these young men and women imagine what would get accomplished.......
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Take Responsibility For Your Actions
That is the title of lesson #4 in my book. I was 10 years old when my dad first taught me this lesson. I learned it through a sporting event, but it always amazes me how much it comes up in everyday life. Some people take responsibility for their actions and some don't. It's funny how those that don't never seem to get anything accomplished. They never seem happy because they never get what they want, yet it's always someone else's fault.
I've seen this in my coaching. Some players will be in a slump and they will step forward and say, "I need to play better." Others will slump and say, "My linemates aren't playing well and it's affecting my game." The players that take responsbility for their own actions, are accountable for their play, are the ones who end up being the best players in the end.
Looking at a company, doesn't matter which one, you can quickly separate the good employees from the bad ones. Mistakes are made every day and things can go bad quickly. Deadlines are missed, orders don't ship on time, you have a bad day in production and poor quality gets past QC, irate customers call and complain, there are all kinds of issues faced on a daily basis. When things start to go "sideways" who steps forward and gets things done?
Is it the guy in QC who says, "I can't catch everything." Or is it the customer service rep who tells the irate customer "it wasn't my fault." These people will be the first to blame a co-worker for a problem or issue that could have been prevented and they are the people you can count on the least to get things done.
The best QC people take responsbility for their actions. They'll say, "It's my job to make sure the product that leaves here is of the best quality and I missed it on this one." They'll talk it through with the production teams and find ways to make sure they don't make the same mistake in the future.
Your best customer service rep will apologize for the problem the customer is having and do what they can to make it right. They are the face of the company and will take responsibility for seeing the corrective action through regardless of whether or not they had anything to do with the actual problem. They know the customer doesn't care whose fault it was and they certainly don't want to hear someone make excuses for themself or their company.
It's easy to blame others when things don't go your way or when you know someone is unhappy with you. Pushing blame onto others only makes things worse. Being honest and taking responsibility for your own actions can be the tougher road to take, but you'll be better for it in the end.
I've seen this in my coaching. Some players will be in a slump and they will step forward and say, "I need to play better." Others will slump and say, "My linemates aren't playing well and it's affecting my game." The players that take responsbility for their own actions, are accountable for their play, are the ones who end up being the best players in the end.
Looking at a company, doesn't matter which one, you can quickly separate the good employees from the bad ones. Mistakes are made every day and things can go bad quickly. Deadlines are missed, orders don't ship on time, you have a bad day in production and poor quality gets past QC, irate customers call and complain, there are all kinds of issues faced on a daily basis. When things start to go "sideways" who steps forward and gets things done?
Is it the guy in QC who says, "I can't catch everything." Or is it the customer service rep who tells the irate customer "it wasn't my fault." These people will be the first to blame a co-worker for a problem or issue that could have been prevented and they are the people you can count on the least to get things done.
The best QC people take responsbility for their actions. They'll say, "It's my job to make sure the product that leaves here is of the best quality and I missed it on this one." They'll talk it through with the production teams and find ways to make sure they don't make the same mistake in the future.
Your best customer service rep will apologize for the problem the customer is having and do what they can to make it right. They are the face of the company and will take responsibility for seeing the corrective action through regardless of whether or not they had anything to do with the actual problem. They know the customer doesn't care whose fault it was and they certainly don't want to hear someone make excuses for themself or their company.
It's easy to blame others when things don't go your way or when you know someone is unhappy with you. Pushing blame onto others only makes things worse. Being honest and taking responsibility for your own actions can be the tougher road to take, but you'll be better for it in the end.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thanks Hank!
I just received information from the Michigan High School Hockey Coaches Association on a new scholarship opportunity. Henrik Zetterberg, or "Hank" as he's known to his Detroit Red Wings teammates, is funding a new scholarship for boys and girls who play high school hockey in Michigan. This information states that "Zetterberg has a strong desire to get involved in educational athletics to improve the lives of hockey players who choose to play the game for their high school teams."
It seems as though in the past few years there has been a lot wrong with professional sports and less than stellar behavior on the part of many professional athletes. With that being said it was good to hear that Henrik Zetterberg, a very high profile professional athlete and one of the best hockey players in the world, is interested in providing this type of support. I think it says a great deal about his character. Thanks Hank!
It seems as though in the past few years there has been a lot wrong with professional sports and less than stellar behavior on the part of many professional athletes. With that being said it was good to hear that Henrik Zetterberg, a very high profile professional athlete and one of the best hockey players in the world, is interested in providing this type of support. I think it says a great deal about his character. Thanks Hank!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Got Perspective?
I've heard the claim that soccer parents are the worst, but I really can't say I have an opinion on that because my son only played soccer for one season. If I go by that one season I would have to say they weren't, at least here in Traverse City, any worse than the parents in other sports. Some of the parents on my son's baseball team last summer were much worse than those at the soccer games and quite frankly, some of the worst I'd ever seen. You know the ones I'm talking about. They'll talk every player through every pitch, every play, and help to make positional adjustments for the outfielders...all from the comfort of those wrickety metal bleachers behind the backstop. They'll yell for baserunners to keep going even though the coach has both hands up telling him to stop. They'll pick on a 14-year old umpire who's doing the best he can and just wants to make a few bucks in the process.
Now that we're in the thick of hockey season here in Michigan emotions are running high. If little Johnny doesn't have a great showing at the Frozen Tundra Pee Wee Tournament he may not get that scholarship offer from Michigan State. Granted, he won't be eligible for college for another six or seven years, but hey, you never know who might be watching. That's why his Dad will stand behind the glass at the "goal scoring end" (it's called offensive zone, dad) and scream for Johnny to "Shoot it!!!!!" every time he touches the puck. If Johnny tries to make a pass to a wide open teammate, one who is in a much better position to score than Johnny, and the pass gets knocked away or intercepted Johnny's dad will throw his hands in the air, shake his head, and yell "shoot the puck!!!!!". He tried to make a good play, dad, chill out.
Where is the perspective in these people? Has life been so easy for them that whether their son or daughter wins a game is truly the most important thing? Do they not have enough confidence in their child to just let them go and play? Why talk them through every single action? Let them try some things on their own and make some mistakes. They'll fall down, dust themselves off and get back at it. They're kids and they're tough. Let them learn some things on their own through trial and error. Sit back, drink a cup of coffee, and just enjoy watching your child play. Before you know it they will be leaving home for college and then they will be a professional. However, it will likely be in something other than sports.
Every time I observe one of these parents I want to tell them the story of Jeff McCullough. Jeff played hockey for the Traverse City Central Trojans and I was his coach. In June following Jeff's junior year in high school he was diagnosed with cancer. He first had cancer when he was just eight years old, but kicked it and had been "clear" ever since. Now, it had come back and the road was going to get tough again. Jeff and I talked a lot while he was receiving treatments at the hospital in Ann Arbor, MI. He always told me how he couldn't wait to get back on the ice and start his senior season. Jeff didn't know it, but his dad had already told me the doctors said there was no way he would be able to play hockey. The cancer was back with a vengeance and the doctors didn't know how long Jeff had. It was eating him up and it would only be a matter of time.
By the time October rolled around Jeff was in very bad shape. On one last cold, frantic night Jeff's condition became the worst it had ever been. His parents carried him to the car on a makeshift stretcher they put together using bed sheets. Jeff wasn't strong enough to walk, but they needed to get him in the car and make the drive to Ann Arbor in hopes the doctors could save him. Jeff was alive when they arrived in Ann Arbor, but he passed away two days later.
In the days following Jeff's passing I spent a lot of time with his mom and dad. We talked about the great times we shared during the hockey seasons and how much we'd both miss that now that Jeff was gone. His dad told me some things about Jeff I never knew, some of which he followed up with, "Jeff would kill me if he knew I told you that." He was so proud of his son. Proud of the way he handled himself when he was a healthy, strong teenager and proud of how he handled himself when the cancer had taken almost every ounce of energy he had.
Jeff's dad often said he would do anything to have Jeff back to play just one more shift in a hockey game. He wouldn't have to score and wouldn't have to be considered the star of the game. In fact, he didn't even need to touch the puck. Just give him 30 seconds to go out and play, however he wanted to, and let his dad enjoy the moment. Jeff's dad doesn't have much patience for over zealous parents that take sports so seriously. In a way, he considers those parents lucky for having a life so easy they don't know any better. He also thinks it's sad they take their child's opportunities for granted assuming they will be here forever.
We have a home game tonight against Petoskey. Before entering our lockerroom I will pass by Jeff's retired number 14 which hangs in the lobby of Howe Arena. I'll stop for a moment and say thanks to Jeff for giving me perspective. Next Wednesday we play Traverse City West for the Jeff McCullough Memorial Challenge Cup. Win or lose I will take great pride in having the opportunity to honor an outstanding young man.
Now that we're in the thick of hockey season here in Michigan emotions are running high. If little Johnny doesn't have a great showing at the Frozen Tundra Pee Wee Tournament he may not get that scholarship offer from Michigan State. Granted, he won't be eligible for college for another six or seven years, but hey, you never know who might be watching. That's why his Dad will stand behind the glass at the "goal scoring end" (it's called offensive zone, dad) and scream for Johnny to "Shoot it!!!!!" every time he touches the puck. If Johnny tries to make a pass to a wide open teammate, one who is in a much better position to score than Johnny, and the pass gets knocked away or intercepted Johnny's dad will throw his hands in the air, shake his head, and yell "shoot the puck!!!!!". He tried to make a good play, dad, chill out.
Where is the perspective in these people? Has life been so easy for them that whether their son or daughter wins a game is truly the most important thing? Do they not have enough confidence in their child to just let them go and play? Why talk them through every single action? Let them try some things on their own and make some mistakes. They'll fall down, dust themselves off and get back at it. They're kids and they're tough. Let them learn some things on their own through trial and error. Sit back, drink a cup of coffee, and just enjoy watching your child play. Before you know it they will be leaving home for college and then they will be a professional. However, it will likely be in something other than sports.
Every time I observe one of these parents I want to tell them the story of Jeff McCullough. Jeff played hockey for the Traverse City Central Trojans and I was his coach. In June following Jeff's junior year in high school he was diagnosed with cancer. He first had cancer when he was just eight years old, but kicked it and had been "clear" ever since. Now, it had come back and the road was going to get tough again. Jeff and I talked a lot while he was receiving treatments at the hospital in Ann Arbor, MI. He always told me how he couldn't wait to get back on the ice and start his senior season. Jeff didn't know it, but his dad had already told me the doctors said there was no way he would be able to play hockey. The cancer was back with a vengeance and the doctors didn't know how long Jeff had. It was eating him up and it would only be a matter of time.
By the time October rolled around Jeff was in very bad shape. On one last cold, frantic night Jeff's condition became the worst it had ever been. His parents carried him to the car on a makeshift stretcher they put together using bed sheets. Jeff wasn't strong enough to walk, but they needed to get him in the car and make the drive to Ann Arbor in hopes the doctors could save him. Jeff was alive when they arrived in Ann Arbor, but he passed away two days later.
In the days following Jeff's passing I spent a lot of time with his mom and dad. We talked about the great times we shared during the hockey seasons and how much we'd both miss that now that Jeff was gone. His dad told me some things about Jeff I never knew, some of which he followed up with, "Jeff would kill me if he knew I told you that." He was so proud of his son. Proud of the way he handled himself when he was a healthy, strong teenager and proud of how he handled himself when the cancer had taken almost every ounce of energy he had.
Jeff's dad often said he would do anything to have Jeff back to play just one more shift in a hockey game. He wouldn't have to score and wouldn't have to be considered the star of the game. In fact, he didn't even need to touch the puck. Just give him 30 seconds to go out and play, however he wanted to, and let his dad enjoy the moment. Jeff's dad doesn't have much patience for over zealous parents that take sports so seriously. In a way, he considers those parents lucky for having a life so easy they don't know any better. He also thinks it's sad they take their child's opportunities for granted assuming they will be here forever.
We have a home game tonight against Petoskey. Before entering our lockerroom I will pass by Jeff's retired number 14 which hangs in the lobby of Howe Arena. I'll stop for a moment and say thanks to Jeff for giving me perspective. Next Wednesday we play Traverse City West for the Jeff McCullough Memorial Challenge Cup. Win or lose I will take great pride in having the opportunity to honor an outstanding young man.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Happy Birthday, Coach
Rick Miller was my high school hockey coach, but over the years we ended up developing a very close relationship. I played hockey for him all four years in high school, but he's given me much more than four seasons. He taught me an awful lot over the years and, next to my dad, I consider him to be the most influential person in my life.
In 1981 we were both freshmen. It was "Mils" first year as the head coach and my first year of high school hockey as one of only two ninth graders to make the team. Mils and I used to joke about our freshmen year together even though he was 16 years older than me.
Mils was a great athlete in his day, particularly in baseball and basketball. He didn't play high school hockey. He graduated from Hancock in 1969 and the high school hockey program didn't start until 1971. Still, he became a student of the game and was a very successful high school hockey coach and tremendous role model and leader of young men. I knew Mils well before he became my coach and he was always someone I looked up to.
I remember being about 10 years old and working as a bat boy for his Twilight League baseball team sponsored by Superior National Bank. When "The Bank" was playing in the field during the fifth inning it was my job to roam the crowd and pass the hat for monetary donations. I'd grab an old, beat up batting helmet and criss cross through the crowd taking any and all donations I could get. Once collected I'd return to The Bank's dugout and wait for the money to be counted at the end of the game. Mils would count the money, take some out to pay the umpires, then offer me a post game handshake. "Thanks Gives," he'd say shaking my hand and sliding $2.00 my way. "See you next game".
As I got older my duties grew to include being the warm up catcher for The Banks' pitchers between innings. I remember the very first time Mils threw me a curveball while I was warming him up. I wasn't expecting it even though he did give me the standard "here comes a curve" sign by flipping his glove palm up prior to throwing the pitch. I hadn't seen a curve before and without thinking I yelled to him, "Hey, how did you do that?". Mils just looked at me and smiled. Later in that same game he hit a home run farther than I had ever seen one hit before. It sailed well over the left field fence and hit the roof on the Houghton County Ice Arena. A mammoth shot traveling well over 400 feet, but he may as well have hit it to the moon. I was waiting at home plate, holding his bat, when he rounded third base and trotted home. He smiled at me as we slapped hands and said, "Someday you'll hit one like that Gives." I couldn't imagine being able to do that, but I also can't tell you what it meant to have someone I really admired, and looked up to, tell me that I could.
I kept in touch with Mils after graduating from high school and the communication became more frequent once I started coaching myself. I'd call Mils for advice when my team was in a scoring slump or when we needed to shake things up with line combinations or defensive schemes. I'd tell him what had happened over the past few games and he'd give me different ideas on things to try and what to look for. It seemed as though no matter what the issue was, Mils had something to counter with. It gave me confidence going into the games no matter who we were playing. Mils often referenced "David vs Goliath" and he relished the opportunity to beat someone everyone said he couldn't.
My team has been in somewhat of a scoring slump over the past few games and I really could use Mils' advice. I'm not able to get it though because he's no longer here. Mils passed away on June 16, 2008 at his home in LaJolla, CA after a two-year bout with cancer. He was only 57 years old. Yesterday was his birthday and I spent most of the day wondering how his wife, Mary, was handling things. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how unimportant our recent scoring slump really is. Eventually, we'll snap out of it and the goals will come. But Mils still won't be here to talk about it and that is really something I wish I could change.
Happy Birthday, Coach......
In 1981 we were both freshmen. It was "Mils" first year as the head coach and my first year of high school hockey as one of only two ninth graders to make the team. Mils and I used to joke about our freshmen year together even though he was 16 years older than me.
Mils was a great athlete in his day, particularly in baseball and basketball. He didn't play high school hockey. He graduated from Hancock in 1969 and the high school hockey program didn't start until 1971. Still, he became a student of the game and was a very successful high school hockey coach and tremendous role model and leader of young men. I knew Mils well before he became my coach and he was always someone I looked up to.
I remember being about 10 years old and working as a bat boy for his Twilight League baseball team sponsored by Superior National Bank. When "The Bank" was playing in the field during the fifth inning it was my job to roam the crowd and pass the hat for monetary donations. I'd grab an old, beat up batting helmet and criss cross through the crowd taking any and all donations I could get. Once collected I'd return to The Bank's dugout and wait for the money to be counted at the end of the game. Mils would count the money, take some out to pay the umpires, then offer me a post game handshake. "Thanks Gives," he'd say shaking my hand and sliding $2.00 my way. "See you next game".
As I got older my duties grew to include being the warm up catcher for The Banks' pitchers between innings. I remember the very first time Mils threw me a curveball while I was warming him up. I wasn't expecting it even though he did give me the standard "here comes a curve" sign by flipping his glove palm up prior to throwing the pitch. I hadn't seen a curve before and without thinking I yelled to him, "Hey, how did you do that?". Mils just looked at me and smiled. Later in that same game he hit a home run farther than I had ever seen one hit before. It sailed well over the left field fence and hit the roof on the Houghton County Ice Arena. A mammoth shot traveling well over 400 feet, but he may as well have hit it to the moon. I was waiting at home plate, holding his bat, when he rounded third base and trotted home. He smiled at me as we slapped hands and said, "Someday you'll hit one like that Gives." I couldn't imagine being able to do that, but I also can't tell you what it meant to have someone I really admired, and looked up to, tell me that I could.
I kept in touch with Mils after graduating from high school and the communication became more frequent once I started coaching myself. I'd call Mils for advice when my team was in a scoring slump or when we needed to shake things up with line combinations or defensive schemes. I'd tell him what had happened over the past few games and he'd give me different ideas on things to try and what to look for. It seemed as though no matter what the issue was, Mils had something to counter with. It gave me confidence going into the games no matter who we were playing. Mils often referenced "David vs Goliath" and he relished the opportunity to beat someone everyone said he couldn't.
My team has been in somewhat of a scoring slump over the past few games and I really could use Mils' advice. I'm not able to get it though because he's no longer here. Mils passed away on June 16, 2008 at his home in LaJolla, CA after a two-year bout with cancer. He was only 57 years old. Yesterday was his birthday and I spent most of the day wondering how his wife, Mary, was handling things. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how unimportant our recent scoring slump really is. Eventually, we'll snap out of it and the goals will come. But Mils still won't be here to talk about it and that is really something I wish I could change.
Happy Birthday, Coach......
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Book Review - Young Athlete (Grand Rapids, MI)
I read your book and enjoyed reading about how sports are meant to be played and what family really means.
Book Review - Nick Edson (Traverse City, MI)
My name is Nick Edson. I was sports editor of the Traverse City Record-Eagle for 24 years, elected to the Michigan Basketball Hall of Fame as a writer in 2004 and now the editor of Country Lines magazine. I helped Chris edit the book. Here is my review.
"If ever a book was aptly named, More Than The Score is it. Chris Givens was a gifted athlete, but it was the life lessons that he learned from his loving father that endured. This book is a must-read for young athletes in particular and sports fans in general."
"If ever a book was aptly named, More Than The Score is it. Chris Givens was a gifted athlete, but it was the life lessons that he learned from his loving father that endured. This book is a must-read for young athletes in particular and sports fans in general."
Book Review - Sports Fan (Mount Pleasant, MI)
I had intended to get my laundry done and start baking cookies….but after starting this book this morning; I just had to finish it.
You are one lucky man. Not everyone has a father like that. I am always going to birthday parties where we need to bring gifts. Every year I usually find something that I give to everyone. This will be the gift I give to whomever I need to buy for this year. I will also promote this book whenever possible to people that I do not buy for; what wonderful lessons and not just for the athletes. I plan to donate a book to our school library as I volunteer there one morning a week. There are always young people asking what books I like….well this will definitely be one I will recommend. I also know many parents who help coach sports teams for their children; a good one for them as well. I know it sure made me think about a few things.
You are one lucky man. Not everyone has a father like that. I am always going to birthday parties where we need to bring gifts. Every year I usually find something that I give to everyone. This will be the gift I give to whomever I need to buy for this year. I will also promote this book whenever possible to people that I do not buy for; what wonderful lessons and not just for the athletes. I plan to donate a book to our school library as I volunteer there one morning a week. There are always young people asking what books I like….well this will definitely be one I will recommend. I also know many parents who help coach sports teams for their children; a good one for them as well. I know it sure made me think about a few things.
Book Review - Former Player (Traverse City, MI)
Hey coach, I just finished reading your book. Those are some great stories you shared. My favorite was the one about meeting the Montreal Canadians and you exclaiming "HoooooLeeeeeeeWaaaaaaa." I had a good laugh at that, especially because I've heard my yooper roommate say that a couple of times this year. I always remember you preaching about spending time with your family to your players during the holidays and since being away at college for a semester it is definitely something I wish I had done more of in high school. The thought of losing one or both of my parents has also crossed my mind before but reading the end of your book made me think about it again. I know it will happen someday and in a sense it is good to know "the truth is you really can't prepare yourself." Your father was a smart man with all the advice he gave you, and I'm sure you are passing on that knowledge to Cam. Thank you for the great book and everything you sacrifice for being a great hockey coach.
Book Review - Friend (Hancock, MI)
Hey Buddy, was so good to see you at the signing ...i had to write you after reading your book for the 2nd time( i am so glad i bought copies for my 3 cousins who all play hockey),,,I loved your Dad and your Mom to...you were all apart of my family for many years....your Dad was always there for my daughter, always with good advice..even when she got into trouble...my life would not be as rich had your family not been in it...i had the same experience as you when my mother was fighting a long battle with cancer...i was 600 miles away...i got that same phone call from my youngest sister Mary...as soon as i heard her voice i knew the end was near....leaving my husband with tears in his eyes i raced towards Waterford as if my life depended on it....praying all the way there for Mom to wait for me....i got to my parents house with no idea how i got there and wondering where everyone was..i couldnt even think....i called my uncle to see what they knew...he snapped me out of it to go to the hospital....i was there only 45 min when my mom passed away...i believed she waited for me and i was holding her hand when she died...i was mad at the world Chris...mad at friends i had that were older then me and still had there parents....i was mad at people i knew that took there parents for granted and never had time for them....i believe as you do...let the people you love know it....and live life to the fullest....i am so proud of you Chris..i love you, your wife and son...and am very proud to be your friend....
Book Review - Hockey Mom (Hancock, MI)
Chris, your book was a fantastic read, I could not put it down until I finished it. How lucky you and your siblings are to have had such a wonderful Dad. The book made me laugh and shed a tear or two. This book would be great for any Dad to read. I want to tell you that being a single mom of a young athlete, your Dad, through your stories, has taught me a few life lessons. Thank you for sharing these wonderful "lessons" with people who knew your Dad and people who wish they knew him. Again it was a great book!! My very best to you and your family!!
Book Review - Hockey Mom (Elk Rapids, MI)
Santa left your book for my husband in his stocking. He has read it, I'm almost done and then it's headed to our daughter. There are definitely lessons she can learn. My husband said too, that it is going to help him change the way he approaches dealing with our daughter. Great job, and truly a tribute to your father-he is up there in heaven smiling down and making sure you stay humble!!!!!
Book Review - Hockey Fan (Calumet, MI)
I just finished reading your book for the second time and once again I sit here with tears in my eyes. Four years ago I received that same call early on a Friday morning that my father had suddenly passed away at the hospital. Unlike you with your dad, I had been able to visit and talk with him at the hospital until about 8:00PM the night before. The last thing I said to him as I left his room was, "See you tomorrow, Dad! Even though my father had congestive heart failure and a few other complications, I never dreamed that it would be the last time I would talk with him.
Your account of the final years and days of your father's life and the thoughts going through your mind really hit home with me. I had no idea how much the ending would affect me personally. My father was a product of the "Great Depression" as historians call it, but as he said so often, "there was nothing "Great" about the depression". He never was involved with or followed sports because he had to spend all of his free time working to help out his family. He never encouraged or discouraged me from playing playing sports, but he would always tell my mother that it did keep me out of trouble. Like your father, my dad had a great influence on my life, not through our mutual love of sports, but through the way he taught me how to do so many things. He was a mechanic by trade, but he knew how to do almost everything a man would need to do in his lifetime. He built our home, garage, sauna, fabricated and welded our sauna stove, pored concrete, layed block, did the electrical, plumbing and anything else that needed to be done at home. I don't ever recall my dad calling anyone to build or repair something except when we had to have our well drilled.......and if he had the rig he could have done that as well. Maybe the most important thing he taught me was not to be afraid to try things. He always reminded me that," if a man made it, then another man could fix it". He was not afraid to tackle anything and that made a deep impression on me as a youngster.
My father told me once that he had never read any book in it's entirety. Yet, he is one of the smartest individuals I have ever known. His attitude towards life, dealing with people, raising a family and working hard have been the most valuable things he could have ever given me. He never went to high school, but he was proud of me for getting a college degree because I accomplished what I had set out to do. He had no degree in education like I did, yet he was the best teacher I ever had.
So Chris, I guess what I'm saying is that your book about you and your dad helped to rekindle memories of my relationship with my dad. Even though the things I have related to you about my father have been in my head all these years, it took your book to help remind me just how much my father taught me and how influential he has been on my life.
Your father was great guy and I always enjoyed every opportunity I had to talk with him. Now, I enjoy talking to your mother at the rink when she is there watching her grandsons play. I have gained even a greater feeling of respect for her after reading how calm and strong she was while dealing with your father's illness and death. You could always tell how much they loved each other because they were always doing things together. Unlike your mother and dad, my folks were fortunate to have 25 years of retirement together, for which I am very greatful.
Thanks for writing this book and thanks for signing the copy which you brought to me this weekend. I hope a lot of young people will read this book over the years. Not just to learn the valuable life lessons taught to you by your father, but also to realize how important it is to appreciate your parents while they are still alive. You see Chris, I never ever told my dad how much he meant to me and how much I appreciate what he taught me and did for me. I'll regret that to my grave. I won't make that same mistake with my mother.
All the best to you and your family in the coming year.
Your account of the final years and days of your father's life and the thoughts going through your mind really hit home with me. I had no idea how much the ending would affect me personally. My father was a product of the "Great Depression" as historians call it, but as he said so often, "there was nothing "Great" about the depression". He never was involved with or followed sports because he had to spend all of his free time working to help out his family. He never encouraged or discouraged me from playing playing sports, but he would always tell my mother that it did keep me out of trouble. Like your father, my dad had a great influence on my life, not through our mutual love of sports, but through the way he taught me how to do so many things. He was a mechanic by trade, but he knew how to do almost everything a man would need to do in his lifetime. He built our home, garage, sauna, fabricated and welded our sauna stove, pored concrete, layed block, did the electrical, plumbing and anything else that needed to be done at home. I don't ever recall my dad calling anyone to build or repair something except when we had to have our well drilled.......and if he had the rig he could have done that as well. Maybe the most important thing he taught me was not to be afraid to try things. He always reminded me that," if a man made it, then another man could fix it". He was not afraid to tackle anything and that made a deep impression on me as a youngster.
My father told me once that he had never read any book in it's entirety. Yet, he is one of the smartest individuals I have ever known. His attitude towards life, dealing with people, raising a family and working hard have been the most valuable things he could have ever given me. He never went to high school, but he was proud of me for getting a college degree because I accomplished what I had set out to do. He had no degree in education like I did, yet he was the best teacher I ever had.
So Chris, I guess what I'm saying is that your book about you and your dad helped to rekindle memories of my relationship with my dad. Even though the things I have related to you about my father have been in my head all these years, it took your book to help remind me just how much my father taught me and how influential he has been on my life.
Your father was great guy and I always enjoyed every opportunity I had to talk with him. Now, I enjoy talking to your mother at the rink when she is there watching her grandsons play. I have gained even a greater feeling of respect for her after reading how calm and strong she was while dealing with your father's illness and death. You could always tell how much they loved each other because they were always doing things together. Unlike your mother and dad, my folks were fortunate to have 25 years of retirement together, for which I am very greatful.
Thanks for writing this book and thanks for signing the copy which you brought to me this weekend. I hope a lot of young people will read this book over the years. Not just to learn the valuable life lessons taught to you by your father, but also to realize how important it is to appreciate your parents while they are still alive. You see Chris, I never ever told my dad how much he meant to me and how much I appreciate what he taught me and did for me. I'll regret that to my grave. I won't make that same mistake with my mother.
All the best to you and your family in the coming year.
Book Review - Hockey Fan (Alpena, MI)
I received your book as a stocking stuffer this Christmas and I really enjoyed it. You are fortunate to have the type of relationship you did with your dad and it appears to me like your son is a pretty lucky kid. I especially enjoyed the Guy LaFleur and Gene Mauch stories. You did a great job and I look forward to the sequel.
Book Review - Hockey Mom (Traverse City, MI)
Congratulations on the book! Between the holidays and the hockey schedule, I haven’t had the chance to tell you that your book is wonderful. I read it over Christmas.
I am one of those parents that likes to throw in a “life-lesson” whenever possible. Only now, as my three sons are young men, I find myself saying more and more things like, “Remember this when you are a father,” and ,”Don’t forget what it was like to be the child,” etc It’s a challenge these days to raise kids, let alone thoughtful, respectful, nice young men. I believe that if you bring a child into this world, raising that child will (should) be THE most important you ever do. I kind of look at your book as a “Dad Digest.” Thank you for being such a good role model for my son.
We ALL need reminders on what’s important in life. I always try to remember that my son's happiness and well-being are what’s most important, especially for his senior year. Everyday lessons NEVER cease for parents as well as kids! GO TROJANS!
I am one of those parents that likes to throw in a “life-lesson” whenever possible. Only now, as my three sons are young men, I find myself saying more and more things like, “Remember this when you are a father,” and ,”Don’t forget what it was like to be the child,” etc It’s a challenge these days to raise kids, let alone thoughtful, respectful, nice young men. I believe that if you bring a child into this world, raising that child will (should) be THE most important you ever do. I kind of look at your book as a “Dad Digest.” Thank you for being such a good role model for my son.
We ALL need reminders on what’s important in life. I always try to remember that my son's happiness and well-being are what’s most important, especially for his senior year. Everyday lessons NEVER cease for parents as well as kids! GO TROJANS!
Book Review (by Brian Edwards @ West Michigan High School Hockey Blog)
Spent time last night reading a new book that's due out any day, and it's one that the WMHSH Blog thoroughly endorses for two reasons. First, it's about the life lessons that sports teach you - a recurring theme here on the Blog as well as for the WMHSH Blog Scholarship program. Second, it's by a guy who's been an active member of the West Michigan Hockey community since the early '90s: Traverse City Central Hockey Coach Chris Givens.The book is called "More Than The Score" and it's written as a series of short stories describing the life lessons that Givens was taught, by his dad, through sports. While many of us know Coach Givens as a hockey guy, he was an all-state football player in high school who also played D-1 football at CMU. As a kid growing up in Hancock, Mich., Givens played just about everything from marbles to baseball to hockey. Along the way, his dad, Bill Givens, was there to lend perspective to whatever successes or hurdles Chris encountered on the football field, marble patch, baseball diamond or at the rink. My favorite story involves not hockey, but baseball, and an encounter with then Minnesota Twins Manager Gene Mauch in his underwear in center field.The lessons are simple, but filled with wisdom. There's humor and perspective and the love that comes from that special bond between a dad and a son who love games and competition. I had a "Field of Dreams" moment when I finished reading it, wishing for one last game of catch and some wisdom from my old man, who's been gone for 20 years now.It's a quick read, about 70 pages in paperback (Dog Ear Publishing), and costs less than a $10-spot. The son of a blogger (SOB) will be getting a copy in his stocking this year, and a copy will also go to the winner of the 2008-09 WMHSH Blog Scholarship. You can order it online at Amazon or Barnes and Noble, and it will be available at some local booksellers throughout West Michigan.
My First Book
More Than The Score is a series of stories describing life lessons I was taught, by my father, through sports. My father was never as concerned about whether I won or lost as he was about what I learned in the process. He took advantage of every opportunity he could to teach me valuable lessons that he hoped would help shape my life as an adult. These lessons, some 30 or more years in the past, are still used today as the foundation on which I continue to build my life as a husband, father, and coach. This book is a quick, easy read and I hope you will find the lessons full of wisdom.
www.morethanthescore.net
www.morethanthescore.net
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